Narcissists can be huge performers in their careers because their inflated sense of self-importance drives them onward and upward. The sense of determination to prove to the world they are indeed important is ever present. In their wake is an interpersonal explosion stemming from the exploitation of others. The wave extends higher based on the belief that they are “special” and unique. Naturally then “they” can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people. Sound familiar?
The world is their audience, and everyone they meet—and everything that happens—is centered on them. If Target had a spokesperson – it would be him.
They are drawn to careers that allow them to receive the attention and power they crave, and to exert influence over others, reinforcing their perceived self-importance. Unfortunately, the same holds true for the psychopath. When in a position of authority, now determined more than ever, “he” becomes a dictator, obsessed with control and power, incensed when someone fails to carry out his instructions to the letter.
Determination, as a variation of a person’s will to live, is what drove Walter White to death — in a literal sense. Can we learn from what we observed? Does life beyond the digital bandland exist?
Persuasion is a symbolic process in which communicators try to convince other people to change their attitudes or behaviors regarding an issue – or a carefully crafted argument whose internal previews coerce belief. Persuasion is the next best thing when fulminated mercury can’t get the job done. For Walter White, his primary tools of persuasion were blackmail, lying and the astute ability to call someone’s bluff by utilizing game theory to configure, and thus understand, their options. He’s brilliant when he utters a momentous line: “If you could kill me, you would have already.”
The blissfully ignorant are simply unaware of the “bad sides” of the narcissist. They look the other way, or pretend that the narcissist’s behavior is normative, or turn a blind eye to his egregious misbehavior. They are classic deniers of reality. In a feat of cognitive dissonance, they deny any connection between the acts of the narcissist and their consequences. Are there consequences? Certainly. Is it profound? Yes, in many ways. Regrettably, the narcissist rarely pays the price for his offenses. His victims pick up the tab.
The narcissist may study a given subject diligently and in great depth in order to impress people later with this newly acquired erudition. But, having served its purpose, the narcissist lets the knowledge thus acquired evaporate. The narcissist maintains a sort of a “short-term” cell or warehouse where he stores whatever may come handy in the pursuit of narcissistic supply, i.e., attention. But he is almost never really interested in what he does, studies, and experiences. Please re-read that last sentence and repeat after me – Wilco tango foxtrot! What does this suggest?
Walter White was able to leverage his power because he kept his information proprietary. It’s the reason he killed Gale Boetticher, and the very reason he hung Jesse out to dry when he was sent down to Mexico to cook for the cartel.
“What? You didn’t read your email?!”
The normal person is likely to welcome a moderate amount of attention – verbal and non-verbal – in the form of affirmation, approval, or admiration. Too much attention, though, is perceived as onerous and is avoided. Destructive and negative criticism is avoided altogether.
The narcissist, in contrast, is the mental equivalent of an alcoholic. He is insatiable. He directs his whole behavior, in fact his life, to obtain these pleasurable titbits of attention. He embeds them in a coherent, completely biased, picture of himself. He uses them to regulate his labile sense of self-worth and self-esteem.
To elicit constant interest, he projects to others a confabulated, fictitious version of himself, known as the false self. The false self is everything the narcissist is not: omniscient, omnipotent, charming, intelligent, rich, or well-connected. Does this require discipline? You betcha. A blue-million pounds of discipline.
Researchers found that people who score high in narcissism tend to take control of leaderless groups. The definition of group could be one, 110 or eight. Again, the construct is complex. However, the overt and distasteful trait most visible is an exaggerated sense of self-worth. Possessing ample talents and abilities, the Achilles heel is a lack empathy for others.
Power and narcissism is a melding of overconfidence guided by a self-centered GPS. “Have you forgotten, no one else can do it!”
And while narcissists are more likely to become leaders, results of a Harvard medical study suggests that, once in power, narcissists don’t perform any better than others in that leadership role. Rather than leading, the narcissist becomes a boss whose envy for others is subtle. Underpinnings associated with envy rap hard at the door of those who have what they don’t, who are skilled at what they are not, who can feel what they don’t, and who are happy just being themselves.
Does change ever occur? No, not really. They love the image of themselves.
The common thread is an over-inflated sense of self-worth, and a belief that he or she is better than almost anyone.
Did Walter White see that reflection in the mirror – or the blood dripping from his chin? Hidden behind dark glasses and big-screen fantasies, he became whomever he needed to be in order to achieve his objective.
Seen, felt and heard were the rant towards others – treating them terribly or rudely. Interaction became incredibly demanding and lacked empathy.
Giving up control truly means control. It, however, is foreign to the narcissist.
Millions (hundreds of millions) of people connect wealth with the belief that it provides security and protection. Factually stated, wealth and the pursuit of money is for many people, proof of security. And for many more millions of people, wealth buys happiness (or at least it opens up a world of potential happiness).
The sphere of control as it extends from a monetary front creates a multi-faceted and complex construct. It bolsters the sense of entitlement. Meaning, as a person’s level of privilege rises, that person becomes increasingly self-focused – in a sense, becoming the center of their own world and worldview.
The outcropping most associated with this construct is an arrogantly superior and disdainful disposition. One that is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, and brilliance. Underscoring any one word only means that all words are underscored.
Walter White would be proud.
The meek shall inherit the earth but the wise man knows he does not get to decide how long he lives. Certainly we can control when we pass, but no one can control how long we walk this planet. The right to life is a temporary hall pass and we all return to dust in the wind. So why do we operate as though we can control life itself or the people around us? Is control a method by which we gain comfort over the stresses of life? Does it produce a smooth path on which we can tread?
Psychologists who study human behavior will often make the statement that domination is an illusion and fleeting at best. Anthropologists believe, generally speaking, that domination is the faulty backbone of a self-righteousness man (or woman). In essence, the type of person who displays moral superiority intertwined with narcissistic behaviors. It’s complicated, detached, and is derived from a sense that one’s beliefs, actions, or affiliations are of greater virtue than those of the average person. Unlike clothing, this isn’t something you outgrow. It’s connected like an appendage. For anyone with an objective lens, it’s nothing more than a Walter White fantasy being played out down the hallway in some planetary sphere we call the corner.
One of the websites about lava production from the Big Island is Hawaiian Lava Daily. Most folks aren’t really interested in the formation of ‘new land’ but HLD is very interested.
When you want an update about the lava flows and current activity, USGS gives you even more details but none of the fancy photography of HDL.
When you consider the options for travel to Hawaii – consider the Big Island is big adventure is on your mind. Aloha.
Puʻu ʻŌʻō (pronounced “poo-oo oh-oh”) is a cinder/spatter cone in the eastern rift zone of the Kīlauea volcano of the Hawaiian Islands. The photo herein was taken about 25′ very mouth of Pele. Look close enough and you can see Pele’s mouth, nose and eyes. I was lucky to have gotten up close to this spectacle — as it’s illegal to hike near the volcano. “Oh-oh!”
Puʻu ʻŌʻō has been erupting continuously since January 3, 1983, making it the longest-lived rift-zone eruption of the last two centuries. Although the name is often translated as “Hill of the ʻŌʻō Bird” from Hawaiian, there is a different explanation of the Hawaiian appellation. The word ʻŌʻō also means digging stick. Because in Hawaiian legends the volcano goddess Pele uses her magic rod pāoa to create volcanic pits, this seems to be the intention for the naming. The cone was originally informally called “Puʻu O” by volcanologists, who simply assigned letters to vents as they arose during the first part of the eruption.
If you want to get up close – make sure to get a guide who has “been there – done that.” You can only hike in through the dark of night – which makes it even more dangerous. Whew.
When it rains while the sun is out, you know it’s short lived. The more it rains the more it’s short lived. Unless you’re living under a dark cloud.
As you drive 20-minutes north of Kona International Airport, you’ll marvel at the rugged lava fields surrounding you. You may not see it from Queen Kaahumanu Highway, but the Kohala Coast, also simply known as “South Kohala,” is where you’ll find some of the island’s finest resorts.
Nestled amongst the jet-black and rust-red lava rock fields, a result of eruptions from Hualalai volcano centuries ago, are green oases full of world-class accommodations, fine dining and some of Hawaii’s best golf courses. Less than nine inches of rainfall annually falls on the eight outstanding resorts here, so soak in the sun and relax at Hapuna Beach State Park, one of Hawaii Island’s largest white sand beaches, indulge in a taste of Hawaii Regional Cuisine or recharge at some of the island’s best spas. You’ll discover cultural treasures on the Kohala Coast too, from Anaehoomalu Petroglyphs field in the Waikoloa Resort to those of the Puako Petroglyph Archaeological Preserve as well as the remarkable Puukohola Heiau National Historic Site, the largest restored heiau in Hawaii. Spencer Beach Park, just below Puukohola Heiau, is another family-friendly beach popular with locals.
One of the most accessible, interesting, and enchanting cultural sites in the State of Hawaii is the Pu’uhonua o Honaunau National Historical Park. Translated, the “Place of Refuge at Honaunau” is the most complete restoration of an ancient Hawaiian religious sanctuary in Hawaii. On the black lava flats of the southern Kona Coast, Pu’uhonua o Honaunau is a preserved ancient Hawaiian village. This National Park is located adjacent to the excellent snorkeling spot of Honaunau Bay.
Tall royal palms surround the temple complex that sits on a 20-acre finger of lava bordered by the sea on three sides. The only access to the Pu’uhonua (temple of refuge) was by swimming across a bay known as the Sharks Den. If you managed to survive, the kahuna (priest) was required, under pain of death, to offer you sanctuary and absolve you of all wrong doing. Here in the national park you can walk through an ancient Hawaiian village and see firsthand how the kings of Hawaii once lived.
Puuhonua O Honaunau National Historical Park (daily 7.30am-5.30pm; $2; ), four miles on from Kealakekua, is the single most evocative historical site in all the Hawaiian islands, jutting into the Pacific on a small peninsula of jagged black lava. The grounds include a palace, with fishpond and private canoe landing, and three heiaus , guarded by large carved effigies of gods – reproductions, but still eerie in their original setting. An ancient ” place of refuge ” lies firmly protected behind the mortar-less masonry of the sixteenth-century Great Wall. Those who broke ancient Hawaii’s intricate system of kapu (taboo) – perhaps by treading on the shadow of a chief, or fishing in the wrong season – could expect summary execution unless they fled to the sanctuary of a place such as this. As chiefs lived on the surrounding land, transgressors had to swim through the shark-infested seas. If successful, they would be absolved and released overnight.
Located on the Kapoho Coast of the Big Island of Hawaii, the Kapoho Tide Pools are an unusually large grouping of tide pools and spring fed pools that stretch out for roughly one mile along the shoreline and extend as much as 600 feet out into the Pacific Ocean. The pools formed naturally and, surprisingly, many of them are actually heated volcanically. Soaking in their warm, brackish water is said to be very soothing.
For this reason, some of the smaller tide pools have been incorporated by local residents into swimming pools and hot tubs on their private property. The rarely crowded pools located in public areas are also available for bathing and afford a very calm and relaxing experience to those willing to seek them out.
Poke is a raw salad served as an appetizer in Hawaiian cuisine. Pokē is the Hawaiian verb for “section” or “to slice or cut”. The traditional Hawaiian poke consists of meat that has been gutted, skinned, and deboned. It is sliced across the backbone as fillet, then served with traditional condiments such as sea salt, seaweed, and limu. Some Hawaiians would suck the flesh off the bones and spit out the uneaten skin and bones. During the 19th century, recently introduced foreign vegetables such as tomatoes and onions were included, and now Maui onions are a very common ingredient. When on Maui – visit Foodland – they have the best selection prefaced only by a formal taste test. Aloha.
Does the notion of gift-giving conjure up smiles, positive interaction and appreciation? Leave off the appreciation – and the notion still evokes smiles and positive thoughts for most of us. Right? Anticipating a gift – somewhat delayed by say … the United States Postal Service or even FedEx …. is enough to warm the heart of even the Wicked Witch of the West! At least that’s what I saw when I watched the Wizard of Oz the last time (37 and counting BTW).
Some people equate ‘love’ and ‘gifts’ as one in the same, and without a present they don’t feel loved. Have you ever heard the words, “I didn’t get nothing!” …? I have, and it feels – well – strange. Ever heard the words, “got your card – what was the amount?” I have, and it was the last time I’ll hear those words.
Just to reiterate my commitment related to gifts, let’s revisit the Surf808 gift giving policy: For special occasions (birthdays, invented retail holidays such as mothers/fathers days, Christmas, etc.), the gift will be a symbol of the relationship. Should there be a relationship, the gift will reflect the essence of the relationship in at least two ways. First, it will be meaningful to the giver and receiver. Second (and this is important), it will not a financial contribution. Unlike Obama’s health care plan, the Surf808 gift giving policy includes a recommendation for the receiver … just in case!
The policy states: it’s best to pre-purchase a ‘from-me-to-me” gift to ensure you receive what you want when you want it. Gosh that was simple!
When in doubt, check the Care Meter and you’ll know what it reads.
Aloha in the Hawaiian language means affection, peace, compassion and mercy. Since the middle of the 19th century, it also has come to be used as an English greeting to say goodbye and hello. Currently, it is mostly used in the sense of “hello”. “Aloha” is also included in the state nickname of Hawaii, the “Aloha State,” though most folks I know call it the 808-state.
Mauna Loa is one of five volcanoes that form the Island of Hawaii in the U.S. state of Hawaiʻi in the Pacific Ocean. Mauna Loa is the largest subaerial volcano in both mass and volume, and has historically been thought of as the largest volcano on Earth; however, the recently discovered submerged supervolcano Tamu Massif is many times larger. It is an active shield volcano, with a volume estimated at approximately 18,000 cubic miles (75,000 km3),although its peak is about 120 feet (37 m) lower than that of its neighbor, Mauna Kea. The Hawaiian name “Mauna Loa” means “Long Mountain”. Lava eruptions from Mauna Loa are silica-poor, and very fluid; eruptions tend to be non-explosive and the volcano has relatively shallow slopes.
Mauna Loa has probably been erupting for at least 700,000 years, and may have emerged above sea level about 400,000 years ago. The oldest-known dated rocks are not older than 200,000 years.The volcano’s magma comes from the Hawaii hotspot, which has been responsible for the creation of the Hawaiian island chain over tens of millions of years. The slow drift of the Pacific Plate will eventually carry Mauna Loa away from the hotspot within 500,000 to one million years from now, at which point it will become extinct.
Mauna Loa’s most recent eruption occurred from March 24 to April 15, 1984. No recent eruptions of the volcano have caused fatalities, but eruptions in 1926 and 1950 destroyed villages, and the city of Hilo is partly built on lava flows from the late 19th century. Based on the hazards it poses to population centers, Mauna Loa is part of the Decade Volcanoes program, which encourages studies of the world’s most dangerous volcanoes. Mauna Loa has been monitored intensively by the Hawaiian Volcano Observatory since 1912. Observations of the atmosphere are undertaken at the Mauna Loa Observatory, and of the Sun at the Mauna Loa Solar Observatory, both located near the mountain’s summit. Hawaii Volcanoes National Park covers the summit and the southeastern flank of the volcano, and also incorporates Kīlauea, a separate volcano.
There are a few reasons why the Pacific ocean is so blue. When light strikes water, the water filters the light so that red is absorbed and some blue is reflected. Blue also travels further through water than light with longer wavelengths (red, yellow, green) though very little light reaches deeper than 200 meters (656 feet), and no light at all penetrates beyond 2,000 meters (3,280 feet). Another reason the ocean appears blue is because it reflects the color of the sky. And overall, due to Hawaii’s low air-level pollution, the sky is bluer in appearance. Someone asked me why my photos depict a “deep blue ocean” … and add, “is that shopped?” ANSWER: it’s the Pacific as seen from Hawaii — and no, it’s not shopped. Aloha.
In winter, Waimea and other North Shore locations such as Pipeline and Sunset Beach host a number of surfing contests because of the large waves found here. These waves are created by winter storms in the North Pacific, and their arrival on O‘ahu’s North Shore are typically forecast accurately several days in advance. In summer, Waimea typically has clear and calm water. Waves can be found virtually any time of year – mind the red / orange flags when staked out. Seriously.
The sleepy little town of Haleiwa is nestled comfortably along Oahu’s North Shore. And it feels like you’re in the country — as it’s a complete 180 from the crowds of Waikiki. Over 100 years ago – before Waikiki built its first hotel, visionary businessman Benjamin J. Dillingham opened Hawaii’s finest lodging on a small strip of land between the Pacific Ocean and the Anahulu River. He named the grand Victorian hotel Haleiwa which means the House of the Iwa – the frigate bird that, according to Dillingham, evoked the style he intended for the Haleiwa hotel. Back in the day, Haleiwa was set in the middle of nowheresville – literally. It was a day when no one worried about keeping the country country. Dillingham’s plan was to lay down a railroad through which he could serve his sugar plantations between Honolulu and Waialua. Add in a grand hotel at the end of the line and BOOOM – we’re talking bank!
For many years, it was a leisure spot “out of town” that evolved into a community which adopted the name Haleiwa. The hotel is long gone – sadly – but it’s still a hopping place! A surfer’s delight I might add. Designated a Historic, Cultural and Scenic District in 1984, Haleiwa has maintained its simple charm and laid-back environment. This is definitely a boardshort and slippah kind of place.
This photo was taken early in the day at Ka Lae, also known as South Point, is the southernmost point of the Big Island of Hawaii and of the 50 United States. The Ka Lae area is registered as a National Historic Landmark District under the name South Point Complex. Click to enlarge.
A favorite blogsite, Better Hawai’i, recently provided some polite guidelines for those who text. Upon review of the texts that I received the last two weeks, only those from my wife were grammatically correct. Never mind the fact that she’s a secret adviser to the Oxford English Dictionary; only a handful of my texts were readable within the context as suggested by Better Hawai’i. The very moment we abbreviate words to quickly convey a message or utterance, that is the moment we’re distracted by the whole process of texting itself.
Rather than convey clarity – we convey brevity. Terse comments lead to the appearance of rudeness. The youth of today would argue the point. And then again, those are the same people who sit across from one another at dinner time and text rather than talk. Where is the Emily Post of the digital era?
On Oahu’s Windward coast, the Nuʻuanu Pali lookout watches over the cliffs of the Ko’olau mountains. The Koʻolau Range is a name given to the fragmented remnant of the eastern or windward shield volcano of the Hawaiian island of Oʻahu. It was designated a National Natural Landmark in 1972, and is truly one of the best viewpoints on Oahu to gaze out across the landscape. The Pali Pass provides panoramic vistas looking out toward Chinaman’s Hat and Kāneʻohe Bay. To clarify, Kāneʻohe Bay is the largest sheltered body of water in the main Hawaiian Islands. This reef-dominated embayment constitutes a significant scenic and recreational feature along the windward (northeast) coast of the Island of Oʻahu. The largest population center on Kāneʻohe Bay is the town of Kāneʻohe.
The Pali Pass claimed its spot in Hawaiian hsitory in 1795 when it become the site of a massacre where King Kamehameha defeated the island’s warriors by forcing them off the treacherous cliff top to their deaths. Suggestion: you’ll need a tripod or be able to grip the railing because it can get extremely windy — and consider another layer of clothing because it can be chilly. Aloha.
Papakōlea Beach, also known as Green Sand Beach or Mahana Beach, is a green sand beach located near South Point, in the Kaʻū district of the island of Hawaiʻi. One of only four green sand beaches in the World, the others being Talofofo Beach, Guam, Punta Cormorant on Floreana Island in the Galapagos Islands, and Hornindalsvatnet, Norway. It gets its distinctive coloring from the mineral olivine, found in the enclosing cinder cone.
The cinder cone is rich in olivine, a silicate mineral containing iron and magnesium, also known as peridot when of gem quality. Olivine is a common mineral component of Hawaiian lavas and one of the first crystals to form as magma cools. Olivine is locally known as “Hawaiian Diamond” and is notably found in Oʻahu’s famous Diamond Head landmark.
POG is a tropical style juice drink created in 1971 by a food product consultant named Mary Soon who worked for Haleakala Dairy on Maui, Hawaii that consists of a blend of juices from passion fruit, orange, and guava fruits (hence the P.O.G.). POG is currently produced by Meadow Gold Dairy, a subsidiary of Dean Foods. Several companies produce a version of POG (such as Hawaiian Sun), as do resorts, travelers and anyone making fruity drinks at the end of the day.
Options to make it an all-natural Hawaiian POG drink
BEST POG – Obtain fresh ingredients
- 2 Fresh Pineapple Rings – Cut Thickly, or the Juice from 1 Passion Fruit
- 1 Fresh Orange – Peeled
- 1 Fresh Guava (skinned or whole)
- 2-3 Cups Ice
- 1 Cup Natural Passion Fruit Nectar
- 1/2 Cup Natural Orange Juice
- 1 Cup Natural Guava Fruit Nectar
- 2-3 Cups Ice
Hawaii allows you to set a path, find one or follow one. Get busy moving because small moments make life.
Hawaii can be experienced without crowds of people, and for most of us who find our way back again and again it’s what we thrive to do … avoid crowds. Discovering a new beach or a spot where throngs of people haven’t landed is one of the best things about the experience. In my early visits to Hawaii, my photographs were sprinkled with people. As I moved off the beaten path and found new trails, my photos opened up and I learned the meaning of “keeping the country – country.” Lately I’ve been asked, “where are the people?” My responses vary – but the norm is, “what, don’t you see them hiding in the brush?” Look close – find your own path.