According to my Oxford American online dictionary, jealousy is described as “resentment, bitterness, spite, distrust, mistrust, insecurity, anxiety, possessiveness and so on.” The bottom line for me on this: a jealous person is somehow resentful of another’s success, achievements, advantages, etc.

Jealousy’s close cousin is envy, and while closely related, there is a difference. Using my trusty online dictionary here’s what I learned: “envy denotes a longing to possess something awarded to or achieved by another person while jealousy denotes a feeling of resentment that another has gained something that one more rightfully deserves.”

Jealousy can be categorized as unhealthy or healthy, depending on a person’s motives. Unhealthy jealousy is grounded in fear, insecurity, deception, or covetousness. When feeling jealousy, it’s best to examine the reasons for those feelings. First, is there a real threat truly or is it perceptual?

Jealousy can be good – and it needs to be developed in family-unit relationships. This type of jealousy is closely aligned with our innate nature to protectively fight for and then maintain relationships. Simply stated, the average person would not sit on the sidelines while another attempts to seduce his/her spouse, verbally attack with wrongful words, or deceive your child. The average person would fight for them – doing everything possible to declare the truth. I’ve not seen much of the fighting for me – ever – so it bugs me when a significant other sits on the sideline either laughing like a hussy or acting as if they can’t respond. Either way – it sucks.

The adventure with the Oxford American online dictionary helped me clarify and affirm my own feelings about jealousy. After reading the definition, I’m convinced that I’ve exhibited both varieties – healthy and unhealthy as everyone does/has from time-to-time. I suggest it’s better to appreciate one another and stand up for people whom we supposdly love.

Otherwise, when we profess words of love, the words are just that – words. And words aren’t enough.