And what were you thinking?

We are always getting ready to live but never living.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

warmth

The Sun …

It rises where we least expect it

It sets when we want more of it

It showers warmth on days when we’ve said, “enough”

It’s nowhere to be found when we say, “burr”

Yet, it’s something we can see at the same time even miles apart.

I’ll be where the sun rises in the morning. Your bed – alone. But not too alone.

I love you.

d

sometimes.

sometimes.

I wonder what life will be like when I’m older.
much older.

I ponder a walk in 80-year-old shoes.
and see the world knowing time is short.

I consider how I’ve wasted so much time.
thinking and pondering of what could have been.

I see the beauty in life.
sometimes the beauty in you.

I am happy to be alive, just breathing and living for today.
others I’m living far in advance, wasting what I have.

I feel regretful over the past and what I’ve done.
maybe is all I can say to learning.

I think of retirement and wonder what is retired.
will I have the power to enjoy.

I like myself, alone with a house of music.
and yet I’m still alone.

I see you for what you are.
and I still love you.

I want to run away, but the islands are as far as I go.
even aloha isn’t all-that.

I just smile and feel the love.
and too often I carry on when it’s not needed.

I see the rainbow.
with your eyes.

sometimes.

Sometimes missing you isn’t so much fun.

Yes, I am able to put my emotions “in check” just long enough to make sure I can survive on my own! And I did that very nicely today. I slept in, ate late, watched the Tour, watched it rain, napped some and then ate again. Watched the Tour and then – yes – I road for 2.5 hours.

I realize how much I want you in my life and need you in my life. Heck, life isn’t all-that unless we’re together. Maybe you felt that way long ago. I know at one point I was head over heels and then felt taken advantage of – and I backed way off. I’ve not come back to that space and likely won’t. I’m fearful of your willy-nilly ways of making rash changes in life that have deep and earth moving ramifications. It’s good that I backed up and decided to walk a little slower. Year-two of our life together is better and it seems better every day. Except when you’re far away.

I wish I were with you guys, but then again how the hell would I ride? Funny to think about it. Maybe a beach vacation next year together and then I can take my bike. Ha.

I love you Amy – and hope to talk soon.

d